50 Reasons Not To Date A Poet by Betty Generic

1. Poets can be somewhat “eccentric.”
2. They have deep conversations with Animals, clouds, birds and Grecian Urns.
3. If you date a poet everyone will think you are the jerk they are writing about.
4. You will be the jerk they are writing about.
5. Poetry hands are really annoying and they use them all the time.
6. Poetry hands are extremely contagious and you will use them all the time.
7. They will name your Cats and Dogs “Angst” and “Ennui” so they can call them yelling, “Angst, Ennui.”
8. They collect words the way other people collect stamps or coins, especially antediluvian words that have not been in circulation for at least 100 years or more.
9. They look for chances to insert their new words into conversations.  For example “I want to tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot.”
10. They think children’s books are sublime.
11. They refuse to care where the remote is.
12. All your furniture will be positioned around windows for them to stare out for hours at a time.
13. Your parents will think they are possessed.
14. They are possessed.
15. You will lose all arguments, or feel so guilty you wish you had lost.
16. They will secretly judge your metaphors.
17. They carry a notebook everywhere and let everyone see it but you.
18. They hoard pens and refuse to let you borrow them.
19. They are obsessed with incredibly depressing films without happy endings.
20. They stare too hard and don’t blink enough.
21. They listen to every single kind of music you can imagine, even Brazilian monkey howling listening for universal truth.
22. They keep conversations going way too long.
23. You will never know if they agree with you or are just following you down the rabbit hole to see how crazy you are.
24. They like rabbit holes.
25. They can’t keep secrets.  It will come out thinly veiled and mythologized in their poetry.
26. It takes a least a week to a year for them to form their opinion about something, and that opinion is subject to change.
27. They speak in rhyme all the time.
28. They talk to everyone, which a lot of people find scary, especially at the grocery store.
29. They don’t understand why if murder is illegal, and rape is illegal, slavery, and genocide are illegal, then why is war legal?
30. They actually think we need to be protected from Monsanto, instead of protecting Monsanto.
31. They do not understand why heterosexuals even have the right to tell homosexuals they can or can’t get married.
32. They don’t understand the global threat of Dandelions and why we must eradicate the threat with toxic chemicals.
33. They refuse to care what celebrities are fighting on twitter, or at least they pretend not to care what celebrities are fighting on twitter.
34. They are rebels and purposely wear white shoes after Labor Day.
35. They think espresso machines and tiny cups are magic.
36. They look at life as a mystery, but when they look at you like a mystery, it makes you think there is something stuck in you teeth.
37. They will make you empty out your head and your heart like they are junk drawers and question everything in them.
38. They cannot live without passion.
39. There will be drama and excessive rhyming.
40. They crave plot twists and depraved themes like heroin.
41. They mine for emotional shrapnel like diamonds.
42. Their euphemisms will never measure up.
43. They can only live or visit cities with poetry open mics.
44. Whatever is wrong, they have a tea for it.
45. They attempt to interject malapropisms into every conversation.   
46. They have their own antagonist and nemesis.
47. They use aposiopesis for ….
48. They sneak dord into conversations in an attempt to make it a real word.
49. They abuse Asyndetons.
50. But the most important reason never to date a poet is that poetry is an addiction, and before you know it you will be the “eccentric” poet as well.

(Betty Generic is a writer, multimedia artist and publisher. She was born in Houston, Texas and now lives in Indiana. Her first book is “And This Happens” featuring “50 Reasons not to date a poet”.)

Jesus Christ's Quotations !

On the occasion of Christmas, presenting some quotations of  Jesus Christ : Being Poet

• As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.
• Open the door to me, as I have opened myself for you.
• And know that I am with you always; yes, to the end of time.
• All my authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.
• Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.
• Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to cast a stone.
• Every knee will bend before me, and every tongue shall give glory to God.
• Let me into your lives, your world. Live on me, so that you may become truly alive.
• I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
• For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?
• Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.
• A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
• For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
• For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and everyone who humbles himself will be exalted.
• As surely as I am the living God, everyone will kneel before me, and everyone will confess that I am God.
• So I say to you, Ask and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.
• If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.
• It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
• For God so loved the World that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
• Little children, you are from God, and have conquered them; for the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in this world.
• Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears by voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.
• My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place.
• If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
• Give to everyone who begs from you; and of him who takes away your goods do not ask them again. And as you wish that men would do to you, do so to them.
• I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.
• All the commandments: You shall not commit adultery, you shall not kill, you shall not steal, you shall not covet, and so on, are summed up in this single command: You must love your neighbor as yourself.
• If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.
• But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.